Alright, let’s be real. We’ve all been to one of those so-called ‘networking events’ where you slap on a name tag, shake a bunch of hands, and collect a small stack of business cards that you will—100%—never look at again.

And if you’re thinking, ‘Nah, I totally follow up,’ let me ask you this: Do you remember the last three people you met at one of those things?

Exactly.

Today, we’re going to fix that. Because networking isn’t about collecting contacts—it’s about being remembered. And let’s be honest, most people are pretty forgettable.

So, if you’re sick of forgettable conversations, let’s talk about how to ditch the small talk, spark real connections, and become the kind of person people WANT to follow up with.

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WHY NETWORKING IS BROKEN (AND HOW TO FIX IT)

Networking is supposed to be about building relationships, but somehow, it’s turned into a weird game of verbal tennis. You know how it goes:

‘What do you do?’
‘I’m in marketing. You?’
‘Oh, finance.’
‘Cool.’
End scene.

Nobody remembers that conversation. Why? Because you didn’t make them feel anything. We all remember the quote by Maya Angelou, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

This idea is supported by Science of People founder, speaker, and best-selling author, Vanessa Van Edwards. Through her research, she has found that people make the greatest impact on another person by creating feelings and memories in that person.

And we do this with the words we say, the things we do, and the way we do them.

“But wait a minute, Mr. Shortcut Man, you just said that people don’t remember what we say or what we do. Make up your mind!”

I didn’t mean to confuse anyone. Allow me to explain. Are you ready to Unlock the Shortcut—let’s get started!

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BEING MEMORABLE – Three Shortcuts

Shortcut #1: Say something unexpected.
Next time you meet someone, instead of answering ‘What do you do?’ like a robot, add a little intrigue. Instead of saying ‘I’m a financial planner,’ try saying ‘I help people turn their paycheck into a wealth machine.’ Now they’re interested. They probably have a follow-up question. Boom—conversation started.

Shortcut #2: Spark a feeling.
Now let’s flip this scenario around. Here’s a real-life example: At a recent leadership conference, I met a guy named Jake. And instead of the usual ‘What do you do?’ he asked me, ‘What’s something you’ve learned the hard way in your career?’

I actually paused. I was so thrown off (in a good way) by this question, I had to think for a moment to consider my answer.

This is the kind of thing that makes you memorable. Asking provocative or unexpected questions.

And if we listen to our friend, Vanessa Van Edwards, she recommends asking this question when meeting someone: “Working on anything exciting recently?”

The great thing about this question is that it triggers the receiver’s brain to think about all the exciting things that have happened recently and puts them in a good mood, and they link this good mood to you. This makes you a very memorable person.

Now you’re getting somewhere – you’ve gone from contact to connection!

Shortcut #3: Use the ‘highlighter effect.’
People don’t remember everything—we’ve all experienced how our brains just yeet most information into oblivion. But what sticks? Words that are emotional, visual, or kinda weird.

Our brains act like highlighters, automatically emphasizing things that stand out. If something sounds unexpected, paints a clear mental picture, or makes us feel something, it gets stored. And just like highlighted text, we can easily retrieve it when we want to. On the other hand, if it’s dull or generic (unhighlighted), it fades into the background like it never even happened.

So, what does this highlight effect look like in the wild?

Well, if we go back to my conversation with Jake, as we are saying goodbye, my default robot answer might be, “Really nice meeting you, Jake. Let’s keep in touch.” But I’m not like that so instead I’m going to play my highlighter card and close with, “Jake, I promise I’m not one of those people who says, ‘Let’s stay connected’ and then never does. I’ll email you by noon tomorrow.”

Why does this work? Because you are painting a picture of someone we’ve all met before who says they will do something and then they never do. While in your phrasing, you are promising that you are NOT that kind of person. That’s emotional and visual.

Jake has now highlighted this moment and hopes to come back to it in the future. Your job? Follow up with Jake by noon tomorrow.

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NETWORKING THAT ACTUALLY WORKS – Three More Shortcuts

Okay, so now that you’ve got the skills to not fade into the background, how do you actually make networking work for you? Here’s what I did after my initial conversation with Jake.

1. Make it personal.
   • I remember from our conversation that Jake had mentioned he just adopted a rescue dog, so I sent him an article on dog training. Personal and helpful!
2. Stay in their orbit.
   • Jake and I also connected on LinkedIn, so I regularly comment on his LinkedIn posts. I also make sure to shoot him a message every month and find ways to keep the conversation going.
3. Give before asking.
   • If you’re always the person asking, people stop answering your emails. So, I find a way to be helpful first. In fact, I don’t ask for anything for the first year. That’s a tip I learned from speaker and author, Dorie Clark. In fact, I usually wait until the other person asks me how they can help.

And yes, these shortcuts works. How do I know? Because that’s how I scored a keynote gig at a marketing firm’s professional development retreat.

Real connections lead to real opportunities.

So, how will you make your next introduction more interesting? How will you follow up in a way that actually adds value? And how will you stay in touch without being annoying?

Networking isn’t about collecting people. It’s about connecting with people. So next time you go to a networking event, spark a feeling in someone, be memorable with the highlighter effect, and follow up with a personal note. Do this and you’ll start building relationships that actually matter and pay dividends in the long run.