Well, it’s February and we are long past Blue Monday. That is the third Monday of January. And it’s the day that most New Year’s Resolutions die of abuse, neglect, or abandonment. And what I mean by that is typically by that third Monday, most folks have either had so many “cheat days”, missed so many days at the gym, eaten pizza instead of greens, not written their blog post, or have completely forgotten they even had a dream in the first place. (And yes, I’m guilty of all of these!)

But that doesn’t mean we have to admit to being beaten. We can always recommit to our goal, our dream, our resolution. And the good news is, we’ve already seen what trips us up, so we can more effectively create a path where those obstacles do not get in our way this time.

Oh, I hear you – “That’s sounds nice and easy for you, Mr. Shortcut Man, but you’re wrong. I’ve gone down this path with all the obstacles in my way and I’ve pushed them aside and I still get tripped up. So just shut it.”

Ok, I know, I know. I’ve been there too…many times before. And I still get tripped up, fall off the wagon, slide back down the hill. Whatever metaphor you want to use, I’ve been there with you. It’s hard, it’s demoralizing, and it can really put a major dent in your self-confidence.

So let’s go through this together.

Let’s explore some of the prevailing methods and theories that can get us on the right track and then see if we can find a shortcut to make sure we set ourselves up for long-term success.

Are you ready? Let’s get started!

First, understand that a habit is simply a behavior that is repeated in the same context or location. You may not realize it, but we spend the bulk of our lives creating new habits or maintaining them.

In fact, it is estimated that about 45% of our daily behaviors actually are habits.

Habits are incredibly useful, allowing us to focus on important tasks, learn new skills, help us make quick decisions, and basically let us stay awake long enough to be a vibrant, contributing, successful, and hopefully pleasant, adult.

I know that might sound silly, but consider the life of a newborn baby. They are super cute and cuddly and need us to clothe them, feed them, change them, put them to bed and so many other things.

And as you know, when they are first born, they tend to sleep a lot. The reason is their brains are working crazy hard to take everything in and make sense of it all. They are trying so hard to make any sort of shortcut at all to be able to stay awake and take in more data.

Essentially, they have developed zero habits in the first few months of life.

And it takes a toll on their energy levels. When the brain has to work like that it consumes massive amounts of glucose (that’s the juice that keeps us functioning). Our brains are the #1 consumer of glucose in our bodies, and being able to develop and maintain habits allows us to reduce the amount of glucose our brains require and consume.

Basically stated, habits create efficiencies. The more habits we have (good or bad), the more efficiently we live our lives. And the more efficiently we run, the more energy we have for the things we want to do.

So in the sprit of wanting to be more efficient, let’s see if we can find a shortcut to building and maintaining desirable habits.

Three things will make us more successful in the building phase and more likely to get started in the first place. But before we get to those three things, you have to understand the difference between a habit and a routine.

Many people confuse the two or use them interchangeably. But this isn’t the case. A habit is something that we do pretty much unconsciously. For instance, how many times have you driven home after a long day at work and just go on autopilot. Besides the traffic, you don’t really have to pay attention to anything.

But realize that this did not happen the first time you drove this path or the second or probably even the third time. It happened after you intentionally selected your path and very consciously paid close attention to the street signs, lights, and all the peripherals on our journey home (much like driving in a different city following your GPS so you don’t miss your turns).

That routine of driving home did eventually became a habit, where you no longer needed to pay close attention to the signs, lights, and landmarks, because you had already memorized their meanings and locations after repeated trips. And before long, you could “drive home with your eyes closed.”

Now that we understand we need to start with a routine that will one day become a habit, let’s get to those three things.

Thing 1: Align with Your Why

Why is the most important question to ask if you want to understand whether you even want to begin a new routine. You must ask: “Why is this important to me?” Understanding your motivations provides a powerful anchor and a source of resilience when faced with challenges.

Whether it’s adopting a fitness routine, enhancing productivity, or cultivating a new skill, the clarity of your why transforms the routine from a mere task into a purposeful endeavor. It aligns your actions with your values, making the journey more meaningful and sustainable. So, before you set out on this new routine adventure, align with your “why” — it will be your guiding light.

Thing 2: Identify Your Tendency

Your Tendency is crucial to figuring out the best way to get into action, because when you are setting up your routine, one size does not fit all. Understanding your Tendency, boosts the likelihood you will move from stagnation to routine to habit. Let me give a quick explanation.

The idea of Tendencies comes from Gretchen Rubin in her book, The Four Tendencies.

In the book, she explains that identifying your Tendency provides valuable insights into your response to inner expectations and outer expectations. Armed with this self-awareness, you can tailor your approach to building a routine that complements your natural inclinations.

In Rubin’s research, she found that most people align with one of the following Tendencies – The Upholder, the Questioner, the Obliger, or the Rebel.

Upholders thrive on rules and deadlines, where Questioners seek justification and purpose; Obligers require external accountability, while Rebels resist restrictions altogether.

Knowing your Tendency allows you to craft a strategy that aligns with your psychological landscape, increasing the chances of success. It’s not about fighting against your nature but harnessing it, turning your Tendency from a potential roadblock into a powerful ally in your pursuit of a transformative routine.

I realize that was a very brief introduction to the subject, so I’ll go into much more detail in our next post. But for now, let’s move on to Thing 3.

Thing 3: Control the Friction

Friction is the most important aspect of keeping the wheels greased with your new routine. And it’s the most critical aspect of converting your routine into an eventual habit.

If there is one thing that will impede or completely cease your progress, it will most assuredly be friction.

Friction represents the resistance, obstacles, or difficulties that can impede the seamless flow of your routine. It’s the unseen force that can either propel you forward or drag you back.

Let’s consider a few shortcuts you might consider to catalyze your new positive routine (soon to be known as a good habit!).

1. Optimize Your Environment: Arrange your environment to facilitate the desired habit. If you want to exercise in the morning, lay out your workout clothes the night before. Make it easy to access the tools or items needed for your habit. This particular tactic also primes your mind to promote a good night’s sleep and be ready to wake up on time.
2. Get it on Your Calendar: Allocate specific time slots for your habit in your schedule. By making it a non-negotiable part of your routine, you reduce decision fatigue and increase the likelihood of following through. So many of us use the phrase, “My calendar runs my life.” Well, you know what? Let’s decide to use that phrase to our advantage instead of someone else’s.
3. Create a Cue: Associate your habit with an existing behavior or cue. For instance, if you want to establish a reading routine, link it to your morning coffee or bedtime routine. If you want to develop a meditation routine, do it for two minutes while brushing your teeth. Building connections helps trigger the desired behavior. You don’t have to remember to do your routine, simply link it up with an already existing habit.
4. Make it Social: Share your habit goals with a friend or family member who can serve as an accountability partner. The social aspect introduces a layer of commitment and support, reducing the chances of skipping the habit. Plus, it can be a lot more fun to exercise with a buddy than doing it on your own.

Those are all great ways to maximize the odds of building and maintaining a good habit. But what if you’re looking to eliminate a bad habit? Well, in this case, you’re going to control the friction by finding ways to increase it making it harder to engage in the bad behavior.

1. Create Obstacles: Introduce physical barriers or complications that hinder the execution of your bad habit. For instance, if you’re trying to cut down on screen time, leave your device in another room or use an app blockers to limit access. One really good way to reduce screen time is to never, ever bring your device into the bathroom or the bedroom. You’ll thank me later.
2. Get Curious: This one might sound strange, but Dr. Jud Brewer has pioneered this approach to habit breaking. If you’re still trying to reduce screen time and social doomscrolling, try to increase your awareness to the emotional and physical sensations you experience during this activity. Pay attention to the actual behavior of scrolling. This heightened awareness of bodily sensations instead of the content displayed reduces the perceived enjoyment of the activity and disrupts the automaticity of it as well.
3. Take a Time Out: Introduce a delay between the cue for the bad habit and its execution. This provides a moment of reflection, allowing you to reconsider the choice and potentially opt for a healthier alternative. This can work for almost anything. If you tend to “fly off the handle” quickly and easily, next time you are about to lose your temper, take a breath, then take another. Take as many as you need. Focus on slow exhales to reduce your heart rate (and your blood pressure!).
4. Pay for It: Attach a financial cost to the undesirable behavior. This could involve creating a penalty system where you donate a set amount of money to a cause you dislike every time you engage in the bad habit. Or literally throw away a $10 or $20 bill each time you succumb to your bad behavior. Pretty soon you’re going to see just how much this bad habit is costing you.

Wow, that was a lot of content to absorb. And a lot of shortcuts to employ. The good news is you don’t have to attempt every shortcut in the next week. Pick and choose what feels right and then implement which ones work for you.

So, how will you decide to align with your why making the journey more meaningful and sustainable?
How will you identify and utilize your natural Tendency to craft a strategy that supports your psychological landscape, increasing the chances of success?
And how will you control the friction to grease the wheels to accelerate good habits and introduce roadblocks to reduce or eliminate bad habits?

Building and breaking habits is never easy, but implementing a few effective shortcuts can make the journey more practical, more successful, and more enjoyable.

Happy Habit Hunting!